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Authentic Vulnerability in Podcasting: How to Make it Work

by That Hoarder

When a listener tunes into a podcast about a sensitive or difficult subject, she probably isn’t looking for a barrage of listed facts that she could have read on a website.

She’s listening to your voice in her headphones because she wants something she can’t get from Google. She wants a human experience, a human connection.

Expressing vulnerability in your podcast can help listeners to relate to you, to believe you really do understand, and to trust the words you speak. But there are ways to be vulnerable when podcasting, and ways not to be.

My experiences of podcasting with vulnerability
I know a bit about this. Three and a half years ago I started talking into my phone about something I couldn’t talk to anybody about. I was ashamed and convinced that nobody would ever understand – indeed, that people would hate me if they knew.

I felt completely alone, so I verbalized my fears and my worries and published them as a podcast. I assumed nobody would listen, but wanted the catharsis and accountability.

150+ episodes and a quarter of a million downloads later, it seems I was doing something right.

My podcast is about having hoarding disorder. In 2021, there were no podcasts from the point of view of a person who hoards, and I was desperate to listen to one.

So, as a person who instinctually fills empty spaces, I made one.

It seems I was not the only person with nobody to talk to about this strange condition. I get emails from listeners and the same phrases come up repeatedly:

• “It’s like you’re in my head”

• “I thought I was the only person who felt this”

• “You are the only person who’s ever sounded relatable to me”

It is important to me that I speak with vulnerability on the podcast. The only reason I get that feedback is because I am absolutely honest about the struggles I have.

However, my deep shame about this problem means that the only way I can be this vulnerable is by podcasting anonymously. The benefit of this is that I can speak my truth. The problem is that I can’t go to relevant conferences to promote the podcast or rock up at a networking event as my That Hoarder alter-ego.

Swings and roundabouts but, overall, it’s working.

It’s all about authenticity
We’ve all had the experience of listening to a podcaster switch into a “vulnerable” voice and say something that is supposed to be relatable but you know it’s inauthentic. Listeners can tell when somebody’s vulnerability is an affectation, it is actively off putting.

Authentic vulnerability is about being relatable because you are relatable, not trying to work out how to make yourself sound relatable and acting it out.

Vulnerability can be evident in laughter, in hushed tones, in bluntness, and in the natural, human variation in your condition from week to week as you share your life with those who trust you with an hour of their time. Vulnerability isn’t about a fake sad voice, or a ChatGPT’d script about what people with depression or money struggles feel.

It’s about the light with the shade. Being truthful and honest.

That’s not to say you can’t have boundaries. I have quite strict boundaries that start with my identity but go beyond that. There are personal stories I choose not to tell on the podcast and I’m very clear with myself where those lines are.

When I do speak about a topic, I speak openly. That’s important.

Make your tone, and your guest choices, count
If a listener is looking for vulnerability and you talk down to them, they won’t stick around for long. If they feel preached at or criticized, they’ll remove you from their subs list pretty quickly.

There are aspects of hoarding that affect a lot of people but don’t affect me. A lot of people who hoard are very lonely and isolated and I’m very lucky not to be, for instance. Others hoard animals, I don’t. So I talk about those topics with care and sensitivity but I don’t lie and pretend they are problems I have too.

I have podcast guests and choose them with extreme care. I get many emails from people wanting to be guests who have no connection whatsoever with my topic (when on earth have I ever talked about golf?), but I also get emails from people who have some conceivable link to decluttering or mental health but have no experience with hoarding, or who I look up on social media and their vibe doesn’t check out.

I invite experts but only when I’ve read their papers or posts and checked they don’t employ victim-blaming tactics or approaches that I don’t consider ethical.

It’s time consuming and hard work, but it’s worth it to ensure that my listeners only hear the most suitable voices on the podcast.

There’s no guarantee, of course. Somebody may pass the vibe check and then not be that great, but I do what I can to make sure that they are reputable, compassionate and ethical.

I deserve that, and my listeners deserve that.

Don’t oversimplify
If somebody seems like they understand something as complex as hoarding disorder, then comes out with a “So here are the six easy steps you need to take to fix it,” I know that they are coming from a place that is either naïve, uninformed, or inauthentic.

Hoarding disorder is impossibly complex, and it’s surrounded by myths, misconceptions, and a heavy dose of stigma. It doesn’t do the topic or my listeners justice to pretend that something is simple to solve when it isn’t.

It would make them distrust me if I did.

Maybe you can stop an avocado from going brown in three easy steps or learn how to post an Instagram Reel in four, but as soon as your podcast is talking about something complex and messy and human and vulnerable, resist reductive thinking.

If you want your vulnerability to be worth it, to sound as authentic as I hope you really are, reject oversimplifications and embrace nuance.

It’s much harder, for sure, but it’s real.

I’m far from perfect
I’m not writing this because I’ve absolutely nailed it. I’m learning all the time, and there’s vulnerability in that, too!

The podcast is a work in progress, and I think it always will be. I know a lot more about sound quality, workflow, and editing in Audacity than I did three years ago (profound apologies to listeners of those early episodes), but I’m an eternal student.

The moment you think you’ve got nothing more to learn, you become complacent. Complacency cannot co-exist with relatability, authenticity and vulnerability.

That Hoarder is a podcaster in England who hosts That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast. She drinks a lot of tea, listens to far too many podcasts, and is known to complain a lot about the weather. She was on the cover of the January 2024 issue of Women Who Podcast magazine. You can find her at overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk.